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Calendar of Parish Events for 2014
June 1stSearch for a Star 

A member of Tornbridge’s very own folk band, The Globules, will be tied to a tree somewhere in the Parish. It’s your job to find him.

Tickets, £2

Familys welcome

Free Buffet

“A great evening” says Mr Toddler

“A fantastic way to make friends” Mrs Asslickott

“What other day of the year will you find someone tried to a tree?” noted Mr Ashat
 June 31st

Village Idiot


“Nothing is quite as entertaining than an evening in the company of complete imbeciles” noted Lord Oliver Peel when he introduced the event in 1754.

Starts 5.30pm

7.00pm buffet served
August 18th Miss Tornbridge 

New Categories this year include:


Miss Summer Dress

Miss Young Farmer

Miss Topless Rower

Sponsored by Dutton’s Doubles

Entrants by June 22nd

Miss Tornbridge will receive £100 cash, a calendar photo shoot and the chance to marry Kieran, the local Magistrate.

The winner of each sub category will receive £50 cash, a pair of branded walking boots courtesy of ‘Deals on Heals’ and a years supply of Dutton’s Doubles.

Late August (TBC due to weather)  FalconaryHorris Boyle’s Wild Bird Weekend

Feathered Family Fun

Every wondered how much a Kestrel weighs? If a Cormorant has fishy breath or how long an Owl would let you tease it with a stick?

Then this is the weekend for you.

Horris will get you up close and personal with some of nature’s most elusive and deadly feathered creatures.

10am to 6.00pm

Lunch Provided
October 8thDry Stone Walling

“I love spending a full day building a dry stone wall” says local character, Mr Shitter, Chairman of the Tornbridge Walling Association.

Work begins 5.45am

Lunch 12.20 - 12.35

Finish 19.30pm

“Come on lads and lasses” says Mr Shitter “there’s walling to be done”.

Free event

Contact Mr. Shitter through the website or via the Chimney View Guest House, No. 30 Mortimer Way, Tornbridge.

November 22nd Creeper's Hour An Evening of Street Justice

Dating back to the 1970’s, Creeper’s Hour has never been more popular.

At exactly 7.00pm Creeper’s Hour will strike and a dangerous inmate from the Tornbridge Correctional Facility will be released.

At 7.30pm pictures of the inmate will be displayed at the Town Hall.

Your job is to catch him before he wins his freedom by reaching the edge of the Parish.

Hammers and pliers will be provided.

Owing to a previous incident, power tools and oxy acetylene torches are now forbidden

Anyone not entering are advised to stay home and lock their doors.
December 13th Christmas Light Switch On“There’s nothing better than turning on a light” is the famous quote from Alexander Graham Bell, discoverer of the modern light bulb. And by Jove he’s right, going by the record numbers who line the streets to watch the switch be taken on its 33m journey from the display in the museum to the tree in the plaza.

At 9.00pm exactly, the switch will be wired, by a certified electrician, to the string of 42 individual incandescent coloured bulbs representing those poor souls who were crushed to death at the previous year’s Globules Christmas Concert.

Guest to be confirmed
December 24th Dr Flange's Christmas Lecture Tornbridge’s very own gene homes specialist, Dr Ivory P. Flange, returns to Tornbridge Town Hall for another of his much talked about lectures.

This year’s topic:

“Biochemistry and Molecular Biophysics - lateral gene transfer from unrelated cellular organisms - is it all it’s cracked up to be?”.

Tea and Coffee, 7pm.

Please keep all questions to the end